Oh, did the spring just slip away from me. I have been living in this odd time vacuum that feels a bit wonky. I am trying to balance my paper calendar and my new digital online life (very cumbersome) and I spend more time balancing the two than actually accomplishing anything of great value or worth (other than "work" stuff).
I lived through my midlife crisis without dying my hair purple or running off with a 25 year old boy. I am so relieved to have made it through all of the insecurity and anxiety without losing too much hair or sleep. I did lose a little of both, but I can get ahead of those things.
So what now? I am writing again, daily. I have a schedule that I follow and it feels good to produce something concrete. I am also surprised when I re-read my day's pages. It takes me a moment to realize that my brain was able to piece some really amazing words together~ friends have been telling me FOREVER to finish what I started writing. 2016 is the year of the finished manuscript. I may reach 12/31/16 huffing and puffing and sleep deprived but the manuscript will be completed.
My Instagram and FB pages have been filled with feel good 'you can do it' and 'the universe is conspiring to help you' gifs. Well, with all of the woo woo about the Law of Attraction, we sometimes forget rule number one: You have to put action to intention. This year, I committed to ACT on my dream and irrespective of the outcome, so far it feels fabulous.
I attended a great conference a few weeks back. It was a professional women's conference full of fresh faced and energetic millennials. For those of you who know me well, you would be correct in assuming that I sat back and thought "I could be her mother" repeatedly. I didn't feel too old though, I embraced my gray hair and 'maven' status. I am at the point in my life where I would not, for any amount of money, want to re-live my 20's or early 30's.
I have been deep in the throes of a mid-life crisis for the better part of 5 years. My biggest area of internal conflict has been figuring out what I should be doing with my life. I am 46 years old so it is quite reasonable for an outsider to assume that I have my s**t together and that I have a clear vision of what I want to do from here until my end of days.
Insert snorty laugh here.....
No. I don't have a clue.
It occurred to me a few days ago that instead of attempting to maintain a false sense of control over my life, perhaps I should just wing it. I plan on enjoying each days as it comes. I decided to find joy and happiness doing what I love (massage, energy work & card reading) and TRUST that the finances will take care of themselves. I am not, by nature, a frivolous creature and can be quite thrifty when needed~ so, my key words are faith and trust. To date, the Universe has not failed me. I have had more life lesson curve balls thrown at me than a major league catcher & I am pretty adept at dodging them. Now it is time to really LET GO and LET GOD. I am going to trying a few different things out on social media. It will be interesting to see what happens and where it all leads.
On that note, I have started a YouTube channel and will release video blogs, the links will pop up on this page. If you see a random red headed girl video bomb me, or if a certain canine wants a snuggle, you will just get a peek into my inside world...my magic place. Home.
I have always fancied myself a writer. My busy life takes most of my best laid plans (writing EVERY day) and pushes them off to the side as I deal with the day to day reality of running a business, keeping my relationship happy/healthy and trying to keep 3 teenaged girls from running amok.